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Don't Speakjust a girl in a crowded world suffocating from negativity grasping for acceptance
just a girl wanting to be loved taking seriously on her downfall
just a girl within a mask turning into a hollow hole
just a girl wanting to be beautiful in her own skin
just a girl in her own jokes with no punchline for her emptyness
just a girl following the guideline of her condition keep quiet and lie to yourself
just a girl crying over the same damn things
just a girl to pussy to cut herself into two
just a girl to big to squeeze herself into a skinny jean dream
just a girl wanted a mother to hold her without judging her emotions
just a girl who needs to be sowed into a pattern of hope
just a girl wishing she could accept herself instead indulging her flaws
just a girl denying that anyone gives a damn about a emo tool
just a girl eating away her existence
just a girl goi
Inked In RougeShallow system that tinkers within my soul playing its medley
Destroying the cords of my heart stripping away the animal I am
Feasting upon my own emotions swallowing the bitter pill
Of acceptance suffering the temptations to feed upon the voices
In my head taking actions to scrub away the hate within my skin
Negativity echo in my head taunting me into a deathly existence
I'm twisted and delicately sweet to my own demons pleasing them
With each cut I take embedding the wound showing my scars to the world
And you bleeding in my own story telling you my nightmare
Quite rare, the tone you seep upon thy reap you creep.
Sights flare within the mind of a once-valentine.
Call it mine, the columbine bled more truth than this blistered youth.
This blistered you...
On knees plead a heart bled
By what you said, "too soon to be dead."
Write our controversy, stout heresy mislead by dependence.
What blood could mend this broken pendant?
Pouted drops stupor stupendous.
Steel super suspended tempting
Fallingmy words feeding the negativity once again storing its feast upon my flesh absorbing the root of its maker pouring itself into my rib cage clutching within myself decomposing in the mist of it all belittling my soul with the spoils of doubt and defeat counting the days to my last breath with life so hard to see the bottle half full with jack daniels sinking within the darkness caressing away the threshold of my depression pulling away at my organ bursting into beautiful hues shedding red tears upon the floor splattering my true nature once again empty hollow human dragged around the pressure of staying true to her essence and state of a deranged loner fighting with the monster inside of herself destroying the bit of confidence she could ever spell with admiration laughing at the world while she's on edge waiting to taste the asphalt of the ground crushing her into rumble and seeing beauty in the breakdown
The EmpathI take what isn't mine,
leaving what is good behind.
Taking the pain and leaving joy.
They smile, not knowing what I've done.
I cry over this, because I know what I've done.
I wear the mask.
As the smile openly.
No one knows what I do,
that I can sense and take emotion.
I can take pain and leave joy.
Though, I wish they did.
An Empath can feel what isn't their own feeling,
they can also take it from others.
Taking their pain so they wont.
That's what I do.
It's so much more than empathy,
it's feeling it in my very core that's not even mine.
Pain, sorrow, feeling hollow.
That isn't mine in the beginning.
I help by taking.
I save by containing.
But will anyone help,
or save me too?
Someone to understand,
an electic touch.
A gentle voice.
So much more than a friend is what I need.
Where to start?
I don't know.
I wish they'd know.
Because I guess they're not here.
What Happened?We were once us but now me
You say you care but really you don't
I rather if you don't so that you can drift away like a memory
Now I am alone, walking alone in this cold world
Just move on, there are others that make me happy
So in a way I thank you for leaving
Thanks for making happier but it the days like this that I stop and want to go back
But how to go back when there is nothing there
You left and move on like nothing
Why should I care?
"If I lose you, I don't know what I would do"
I remember I said that and turns out to be true
You walk away, that's all she wrote
Don't just say goodbye when I never wanted to
Too bad that you felt miserable
Its sad one can be happy and the other can be feel not same
Was it the reason why we got into this relationship just to forget who we were chasing before?
Or wasn't that something needed to change with our lives?
I don't know, it happened within a blink of an eye
I didn't try hard enough or you gave up too easily?
Can't change anything that ha
UnderstandExcuse me, I'm sorry to impose
Won't you both keep on your clothes
I have something that I have to say
You might laugh or you might get upset
Are you listening to me yet?
I can't just simply walk away
Boy, I lost my trust in you
Girl, if you knew what I knew
You'd see he's not the person he appears
But you take his word over mine
I just hope you'll leave in time
Before you see that he's your biggest fears
Sometimes I even wonder if
The possibility of this
So called 'karma' even exists
How come I'm here with open arms
An open heart in risk of harm
Yet he's the one with someone else to kiss?
Boy, you don't deserve her
Girl, you deserve better
But still I have to see you hand in hand
Soon you'll see just what he is
And maybe when it comes to this
Maybe then you'll finally understand
Excuse me, I don't mean to offend
But I can't smile and pretend
That you'll be perfect for each other
He'll tell you that you're the only one
Blink your eyes and he'll be gone
Off to find a perfect lover
TryI try and try again
But nothing seems to work
She just keeps ignoring me
She keeps thinking it is dead
I keep on trying to tell her it's not
But why won't you listen
Listening is key
I have been listening to you this whole time
But not once I turned away and said
"I wish it could have been different"
No, that's not how I thought
How it felt
Being through so much with you that I can't let go just like that
No, I am not saying I am living in the past
I am saying I want you to still be there
I want you not to give in to your own doubt
Believe me, please
My life is better with you not without
Hanging on a thread and I grab it with all my might for that it would be sew on and not drift away
No sarcastic tone, no laughing matter
All in seriousness, serious about you
Serious that this still can work out
All relationships go though turmoil, crap, mess ups and all
But it takes a real one get through it
It wouldn't be an easy road but a doable road
I know you hate the feeling of making this deci
Memory of YouYou slowly walked away,
left me solemn in the rain.
I guess it shouldn't be a surprise.
You saw the reaction on my face
when you gave the last embrace.
There began the story of our demise.
And now there's nothing but...
just a cold tear tear, just a hard breath.
A mere moment collapses, nothing is left.
You said your goodbyes, there was nothing I could do.
So I quietly drift away trapped in the memory of you.
Several days pass by
and I think I'm losing time.
Where did my concentration go?
So much anxiety over you,
don't know how I will get through.
But it will be alright, I know.
Still you left me with...
just a cold tear, just a hard breath.
A mere moment collapsed and nothing was left.
You said your goodbyes, there was nothing I could do.
So I quietly drifted away trapped in the memory of you.
It's been a year since then
and the mending has kicked in.
No more struggling against the pain.
Since I gave up on the fight
and surrendered to the light,
only a peace of mind remains.
Winter HeartFrozen solid, her heart will not beat,
Summer over, arctic winds won’t retreat,
All warmth and light has fled,
And you won’t last long there,
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter,
A winter heart, all dead.
The snow falling your love a breeze,
You won’t last long, you'll just freeze
Icicles from the past have froze her core,
Only warm hearts will change the season
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter
A winter heart, you've fallen for
Playing GodPlaying God
Hate isn't healing
Too often it's killing
And feelings aren't spared in the process of stealing a life
Stealing a father, a mother, a sister, a brother, a daughter, a son, a husband, or wife
Or maybe just stealing a friend
In the end what you take is a person connected
By strands of affection protected by nothing
But pure unconditional love
And when hearts are infected
And words are inflected
With currents of loathing
The booming voice of some being above
It's these people you hurt
Not just the ones in the dirt
Who feel the effect
Of your hate indirectly
Connecting when push comes to shove
You call me a monster
A monster that loves?
Seems kind of silly to me
Practice your preaching
Or risk only reaching
An audience too blind to see
Tolerance doesn't imply your support
It only requires you do not cavort
As the only opinion worth holding
And when your values conflict
With more sensible edict
Forego the sociopolitical molding
You see people are people
I created A Fallen AngelThis nightmare has resurrected into my finger nails -
peeling my ravenous desires off again.
I don't want to learn my lesson,
I need to learn the hard way by
letting you become my
I will always be a loveless vampire that
feeds on helpless romantics that try
to hide it.
I will grant thee a fresh heart
break it myself,
Clench your unraveling hatred into my skin,
I want to hate you as much as you loved me.
I need to cry your pain,
because you won't show
me how much I hurt
- these haunting whispers will stain my lips
when I think of you.
"Why can't I be the one for you?"
but i only needed your heart because someone
stole mine and never gave it back.
I have never felt this way before,
Completely and utterly empty,
I feel like my heart has been torn to shreds,
Leaving nothing but broken shards just like a hurricane does,
This pain, is a pain that has been torturing me,
It has been taking over my body for the past few days,
Slowly stripping the life out of me,
Leaving nothing but a dark empty shell,
I never imagined it could hurt so much to lose you,
Especially since I barely even knew you,
You were a role model for everyone,
And it rips me apart to know you're gone,
I know you're in a better place,
But something inside me still wishes you were here,
It killed me when I saw a dead body for the first time,
And it just had to be yours,
Tears are continuously pouring down like rain,
Staining my face with sorrow,
I would repeatedly mechanically wipe them away,
But when will my gloomy days come to an end?
I just wish I could have seen you once more time,
Seen that beautiful and welcoming smile of yours,
Listen to your wonderful and c
Fadedtears painting my face casting the shadows within the dark
pulling me under its claw's preyed upon death clutch
pounding fear bleeds within my skin and bones
my eyes draws within death scythe ripping away
the chapters of my life buried within my nightmare
why dry my tears but let another cry
impaired to my own emotions numb
to the cords of my existence silting
my soul to reach upon your ears
my downfall pleading for acceptance
composing my cries into deathly tunes
The Coffee GodThe Coffee God behind the counter shuffles foot to foot, a dance of steam and espresso. Black painted fingernails, inch gauged ears and a gray striped sweatshirt, hood crooked on his back. There's a cigarette tucked behind one ear; it bobs and twitches with each step.
“Non-fat caramel latte,” he calls, just as he always does, part of a spell, part of a mantra, toneless (just a tuck at the end). I reach. He looks up.
The espresso maker hisses.
There's something like a grin, something like a spark, something like a shared secret linked eye to eye. When he passes over the drink (rough cardboard sleeve hot to the touch), he lingers. Our fingers brush, a shiver, a jolt, a ten-watt shock.
The Coffee God tilts his chin, shouts, “Hey, mind if I take my break now?”
and ducks around the counter without waiting for a reply.
He slips his cigarette between his lips without taking his eyes from mine. I follow him out the door.
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